Bucket List
by HoranAndTheBieb
Summary: Quinn likes volunteering and helping others. Rachel is in need of desperate help before she takes her life. Quinn finds needs to find ways to continuously keep her alive. Trigger warnings for Suicide, Self Harm, Rape and Depression.
1. Chapter 1

**_Trigger warnings for Self-harm, Suicide and Rape._**

* * *

Community hours was something Quinn didn't truly have much of a problem with. She was glad to help others. Although her rude attitude toward her fellow peers would beg to differ, deep under that teen anger, Quinn was one of those rare ones with a heart of gold. She just never felt close enough to anyone to show it.

Around her community Quinn had helped at the old retirement home, but after two years, and all the kind old folk she had grown to love continuously passed away, Quinn couldn't take going home crying after one after the other of the people she's grown so close to leave her.

She gradually went to the reregistration that early Saturday after known and said her goodbye's the the staff and her remaining friends, walking toward the door before a friend of her mom's had stopped her.

"I heard you quit" The woman said, disappointment and sadness clear in her voice.

"Yeah well, i couldn't take getting close to people only to have them die on me" Quinn swallowed harshly, she shifted her feet, she felt a tug at her heart as she remembered the old friendly faces she used to visit.

"I understand...It's going to be sad here, without you" Quinn lowered her head. "But I hope you're not giving up on people and volunteering!" Quinn rose her head and shook it immediately. The woman smiled before handing Quinn a paper, patting her shoulder and walked past her, off to give lunch to the remaining residence at the home.

Quinn watched her leave, before looking down at the paper, and walking out the front door.

_**McKinley Suicidal Rehab**_

Was all Quinn read before her heart squeezed, and the corner of her lips lowered further. All that was left was the address and phone number. With a sigh, Quinn stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and pulled out her phone, contacting the head desk of the place.

* * *

Rachel sat in the corner of her white room, her sleeves of her white shirt, that's two sizes two large for her, clutched in her fists as she curled her knees up to her chest and lowered her head against the wall beside her, her arms wrapping around her knees dressed in white pants.

"We're going to find someone for you" Rachel whispered to herself. She shut her eyes, tears already filling the rim of them. Rachel shook her head against the wall. "No, No you won't, They'll be here for a week and leave like the rest. No one wants to deal with me, I've got to many damn issues" Rachel sobbed quietly to herself.

"Too many damn issues for anyone to _love._ for anyone to _care._ God forbid anyone wanted to come _fucking_ visit...oh wait...no one ever _fucking_ would." Rachel's anger mixed with her sadness, she could feel her heart tearing in her chest. She dropped her head in her closed, sleeve covered hands and let the tears sink through the thin material.

She felt a shock of electricity as she heard the loud click of the door being unlocked echo in her plain room. She continued to face the wall in front of her, she tried to keep her breathing quiet along with her sobs.

The caretaker of the most teen patients, Finn, set Rachel's dull mashed food onto the small table beside her white, neatly done bed, before turning and smirking at her curled body. His thumb slide under the waistline of his pants as he took steps toward the curled, shivering body on the floor.

"You know what time it is" Finn said lowly, his erection already pushing against the fabric of his boxers, Rachel inhaled deeply, shutting her eyes tightly and pressing her head against the wall harder.

"Finn, please, I-I can't, It's enough" Rachel's words were useless. Her voice cracked and she knew her pleas and begs of "no's" and "don't" will be useless. A single tear slipped down her cheek along with the sound of Finn lowering his zipper. Rachel swallowed harshly as Finn, roughly took her by the hair and dragged her across the floor. Her scream simply echoing through the room.

Finn wrapped his arm tightly around the brunette's waist before slamming the fragile body on to the bed. Her tears stained her face, her screams muffled by the small towel Finn had stuffed into her mouth, before removing her pants, even with her fighting them to be kept up.

Finn pulled his fist back before connecting it with the side of Rachel's face making the girl freeze, her breath caught in her throat as she sobbed more.

Fighting was _useless_.

Crying was _useless._

Screaming was_ useless._

She. Was _useless_.

So she laid there. Laid there, towel in her mouth, as Finn took advantage of the shattered soul of Rachel Berry. She faced the wall and shut her eyes, refusing to watch the shadow of Finn Hudson rape the shadow of the broken Rachel Berry.

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**So. New Story, Some of you are saying yay, some of you are hating my guts for even continuing to write.**

**This story is kind of dark isn't it?**

**I don't know if i wanted to continue it, I mostly just want to right it cause a lot of Rachel's thinking and feelings and the actions that you will learn about further in the story is what I have done and continue to do, sometimes and I guess I'm using this story to get out my feelings out more, to stop me from doing some...stupid things let's say...and if you liked it, I'm sorry it's so short, to be fair it's the first part of a new story, I'm not really sure where I was going with it, I mean I haven't been raped, but closed to it, so my heart goes out to anyone who reads this and had been...you know. So. Those who hate my guts, feel free to put your hateful comments in my review if you wish to not let me continue this cause really...and now i'm talking too much so...bye...**


	2. Chapter 2

Quinn Fabray pushed open the glass doors to the suicide rehab she'd been referred to. She smiled softly as she looked around and seen the happy smiles, on the faces of people dressed in all white -most likely the patients- as they sat next to someone casually dressed, happily making a conversation with them, listening to their problems and helping them in the best way. It warmed Quinn's heart to know there were people with good hearts in the world.

"Fabray?" Quinn's eyes met the blue eyes of the secretary's at the front desk, Quinn's eyebrows raised as she gazed at the girl, while walking up to her, or well, the desk. Blonde hair, slightly darker than hers, and a bright smile, brighter than she's ever seen someone in her life do. Quinn's smile widened as she looked beside the young adult and seen a brunette girl, about the same age, dressed in all white. Her partner.

"That is I" Quinn spoke softly, finally reaching the front desk, she placed her hands softly on it. Her eyes moved over to the name tag on the secretary's shirt. _Brittany._

"Wonderful, we got a letter from the retirement home you were at, you seem perfect for here" Quinn's eyes met Brittany's as Quinn softly nodded.

"Thank you" A loud cough made both blonde turn to face the brunette.

"And this is Santana" Brittany said, her smile softening, as her eyes formed a sparkle. "I'm not supposed to work with the patients, but this one just stuck to me, since I first got here" Quinn bit her lip as she smiled. She thought it was cute, and she hoped for an experience like that, just to look at someone across the room, lock eyes and feel that pull and have someone to look forward to seeing each and everyday. Seemed like a long shot for Quinn, but she kept her hopes up.

Quinn looked between Santana and Brittany as they shared a smile, and stared at each other, only breaking apart when a buzzer went off, Quinn caught Santana's smile drop instantly. Looking over to Brittany she noticed her cheerful smile vanish as well.

"And that means it's break time" the dark blonde sighed. She glanced at Santana before looking up toward Quinn again. "Um, There's a file cabnet just under here" Brittany pointed to under the desk. "It has files of the patients without partners, you may take your pick of one" Brittany stated before getting up. "And I'm sure Santana will be willing to help you fit in perfectly, right?" Both blondes turned to the brunette once more as Santana looked between the two and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Fine" Santana crossed her arms over her chest, as Brittany let out a small smile, leaning over and kissing the girl's cheek softly, before whispering in her ear. She stood up straight and Quinn smirked at the blush forming on the patient's face.

"Well, I hope you have a wonderful day Quinn, hopefully I'll see you after" Brittany nodded at Quinn before, waving goodbye to the brunette and turned, walking through a door that had "Employees only" written on the front. Quinn turned to Santana as the girl glared at her.

"Well are you going to come here and pick a loser or what?" Santana almost growled as Quinn narrowed her eyes at the girl.

"If their losers, that would make you one, I mean you are dressed like them" Quinn stated, walking around the front desk and kneeling down in front of the file cabinet Santana sat beside.

"Touche" The brunette mumbled, watching Quinn pull open a drawer and looking through the files. Quinn sighed softly, each name she read didn't seem to interest her, then again she wasn't even sure what type of person she was looking for, she knew it wasn't right to just judge someone on their name, especially in a suicidal rehab, but she felt as if she would click with someone right away. That was just how Quinn was thought.

Landing on the last file at the drawer, Quinn closed it, her eyes narrowed and titled her head as she read a drawer with a paper taped to it that read "Unwanted" Quinn looked up at Santana.

"unwanted?" She could see Santana tense, before the girl cringed.

"Basically no hope for those dorks. They don't talk to people, nor accept the help from people who are volunteering like you" Santana gestured her hand toward the drawer "I was almost in that drawer too...until they finally let me hang around Brittany" Quinn could swear she may have seen a small tear fill the brunette's eye, but decided not to question it. Instead Quinn faced the drawer and opened it, surprised to only see one file, she looked up at Santana, who only shrugged.

Quinn picked up the file, reading _Rachel Berry_ off of it, put a small smile on her face, a smile she didn't mean to have on. closing the drawer, Quinn stood up, placing the file on the desk and taking Brittany's seat.

"Really? You had all those people and you're going to pick that-" Santana cut off her own words as she met the glare of Quinn Fabray for the first time. Santana acted tough, but even that look sent a chill down her spine. She held her hands up in defense, sighing when Quinn turned back to the file.

Quinn let her fingers trail down the left side of the file, her index finger slipped in between the folds before she opened it. Quinn could feel her breath get caught in her throat as she looked into the brown, broken eyes of Rachel Berry. She felt her heart squeeze, even in a picture, she could see the agony behind those beautiful eyes. Quinn looked toward the brunette hair, and took a mental note that it was much more beautiful than Santana's as it flowed over her shoulder and curled at the tip.

The beautiful brunette's lips curled downward in a frown, and Quinn had already made it her mission to turn it around, she wanted to see that beautiful girl smile, she wanted to see it in person, and she wanted to be the reason for it.

"Take me to her" Quinn demanded, her fingers tracing over the brunette's picture before looking up at Santana

"Excuse me? I do not escort"

"Now" Quinn shut the file, she leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Santana. The Latina simply stared at Quinn before, she sighed and got up.

"Keep up" was all the brunette mumbled as she walked past a smirking Quinn.

* * *

Rachel thanked God for Finn's early arrival issue, the memory of Finn simply walking out ten minutes ago still fresh in her mind. She wiped at her tear filled eyes, and pulled up her white pants, before dropping back into bed. She breathed deeply before letting out a shaky breath.

"God...I know I'm rightfully Jewish and all, but um, I thought...that...maybe you could um...send me...some...help? An angel maybe? to come take me away...I don't...I don't want to be in this room anymore...I don't want to be in this place...I can't take it..." Rachel sobbed softly. Her words came with a cracked voice and heavy breathes, her hands constantly at her eyes trying to not let a tear fall down her cheek. She opened her mouth to continue her plea until a knock at the door shut it quickly.

"Hobbit, you in there?" Rachel sighed, at least it wasn't Finn. "What...Oh it's a joke" Rachel's eyebrows scrunched at Santana's new words.

_Maybe she's just talking to Brittany...maybe it's time for my pills...maybe I can convince them to give me more than just two this time.._

Santana's knocks became more harsh. "I don't got all day" Rachel rolled her eyes before sliding out of bed. "I don't mean no harm to her" Santana mumbled, before Rachel opened the door. her eyes met the brown of the brunette before she glanced at Santana's side where a new blonde stood before her. Rachel felt as if her breath was lost in those hazel green eyes.

"Um..Hi!" The blonde greeted Rachel with a cheerful grin, she held Rachel's file under her arm as her free hand waved frantically side to side at the tiny girl. Rachel's lips twitched up into a small smile. Rachel simply returned her wave with her hand raising up and using her index finger to bend. From the corner of her eye she saw Santana turn to the brunette.

"That's her weird way of saying hello to strangers" Rachel's smile dropped, and at the drop as did the blonde's. The taller girl glared at Santana once more, as the Latina turned back to Rachel.

"Rachel, This is Quinn, Quinn, Rachel" Santana gestured her hands at the person who's name she spoke, before stepping back, allowing Rachel to fully see Quinn. "She choose you to volunteer with" Rachel's eyes switched between Santana's to Quinn's before she titled her head, her eyes filling with tears again, and she moved back and slammed the door shut.

Quinn turned to Santana, the Latina would never admit it, but she felt her heart squeeze at the worried look in the blonde's eyes. "Don't look at me like that, I warned you" Santana poked Quinn, before Quinn sighed. She knocked on the door softly.

"Rachel I um...I want to help...I really do..and I refuse to leave this door until you open it again" Quinn said, the tone of her voice was weak, but to be fair, she had only dealt with seniors before. This was new to Quinn, at least she was trying though right?

Quinn watched Brittany walk past the hall the two girls were at, and from the corner of her eye she saw Santana's grin appear in an instant.

"Good luck" was all the Latina had said before, patting Quinn on the back and jogging after her own blonde. Quinn sighed and leaned her back against the grey door behind her. She slide down and stretched her feet out on the floor, and as opened up the file in her lap.

"Still here" She called out, her index finger knocking twice on Rachel's door. She sighed and looked down at the file. "take your time"

* * *

**HannahWilliam33 - Well this is certainly going to be a dark story, and I will keep updating it as long as you're reading it, so I hope that'll help with the dark stories you'll want to follow! And right? Writing is awesome, I'm glad you use it to get out your feelings too, it's good to know I'm not the only one. You're amazing.**

**Em - I hope this chapter was a good job as well, I re-wrote it a couple of times and I still don't think the beginning is all that great but I just gave up with it, so it's there.**

**snowdrop1026 - It's totally different to everything else I write isn't it? I think it's because of that, that this is going to be another special story to me, just like _"I could be the one who makes you feel beautiful"_ I don't know why that one sticks out so much to me...maybe cause it's almost like this one, except this one is darker, I guess. P.S I love your username I don't know why it just seems cute to me.**

**Parawhoreforlife - I'm sorry I didn't update this sooner! Please don't haunt my dreams! I'll update this way more now too! I won't disappoint you I promise!**

**rainbowbright108 - Basically, Depression was usually in Rachel's family (As it is in mine) and she just so happened to get the mental illness as well unfortunately, and with her being adopted, she always felt that she was never wanted since she was a kid, although she loves her dad's, it still hurts her, and elementary and high school with bullies didn't help her self-esteem or help take away her depression, it just simply made it worse every year, and with countless secret attempts of suicide, her fathers had found her suicide notes, and didn't know what else to do but send her here...you'll learn more in more detail as the story goes on, this was just like a brief explanation, sorry if it sucks.**

**RachelBarbraBerry - First of all. Your username, THE BEST. I think I'm in love with it, the first time I saw it I just smiled :D like that! and second of all, I'm sorry it hurt :( I'm fixing it! I hope this one hurt less!**


	3. Chapter 3

For the past three weeks, each day Quinn sat outside Rachel's room door. Each day she would bring something to entertain herself, while waiting for the day the brunette would open the door. While Quinn sat in front of Rachel's door, she would bring up things in the news, new songs released from various artists, new movies, anything recent going on hoping she would at least get one opinion from Rachel behind the door. But never any success.

Although she never heard a voice, Quinn was unaware of how Rachel sat on the floor, with her side pressed against the door, the spot where Quinn sat right ahead of the object between the and just listened to Quinn's voice. Listened to how soft it was, even when it was slightly muffled from the door being shut. She listened to the slight chuckle Quinn sometimes made as she spoke of some movie trailers she had seen and gave her honest opinion on them, how interesting or non-interesting they appeared to her.

With just the simplest things, Quinn's voice calmed Rachel down; gave her a sense of things would be okay, that she could trust Quinn. That's what terrified her. She didn't like feeling so ready to open up to a stranger, when more than half of the strangers in her life before all left her, breaking her into more pieces when she thought she couldn't break anymore. She had quickly taught herself to expect the worst, so Quinn staying outside a door for three weeks and not getting annoyed with Rachel once for not opening up the door, Rachel didn't know how to feel. She didn't want to put a bad or good label on Quinn, She couldn't. Her heart wouldn't let the blonde she's seen for only a second be labeled as an enemy in her head.

Quinn brought up many topics while sitting outside Rachel's door everyday. She would switch subjects when she ran out of her opinions on the matter and knew she wasn't going to get a reaction out of Rachel, but with so many things already said, Quinn was running out of things to bring up. The news was always the usual and Quinn always leaves out any murders or death stories from the news out of her talks with Rachel. She needed to figure out a way to get Rachel to just open the door a crack, to hear her voice for once instead of just hearing her own.

So when the blonde pushed the glass door open and walked into the rehab, she half smiled to Brittany and Santana. In return the brighter blonde gave a wide smile while Santana have a more sympathetic one.

Quinn walked across the room, taking a few steps past the front desk before she stopped, and turned on her heels, walking right up to the desk. She placed her elbows on the desk and folded her arms on it, leaning forward, she looked between the blonde and brunette. At this action, Brittany and Santana glanced at each other, both giving off a worried look before they turned back to Quinn. Quinn bit her lip, she looked down at the desk before she heard Santana call her name.

"Quinn?" The blonde immediately looked up to meet Santana's worried eyes. Quinn simply nodded in Santana's direction, silently telling her to continue. "You're not going to...give up...are you?" Quinn leaned back, surprised at Santana's question. with each passing second of silence Santana and Brittany both got more nervous. They hoped for a 'no' but heard so many 'yeses' before, it's kind of what they now expected.

"No." Quinn shook her head, and bother girls sitting let out a breath they didn't even realize they were holding in. "I don't plan on ever giving up." Brittany smiled brightly again.

"Wonderful! You're really helping the girl!" Brittany clapped her hands together three times, her excitement clearly shown, Santana couldn't help but smile at the blue eyed blonde's enthusiasm. Quinn frowned.

"That's the thing" Quinn leaned forward again, raising her right arm onto its elbow and placed her chin in her hand. Her left hand fingers tapped on the desk. "I can't even get her to open up the door, how could I ever be helping her? If anything, I'm failing big time!" Her left hand rose and she gestured toward the hallway where Rachel's room was. "It's been three weeks"

"Hey, I warned you the hobbit was a difficult one" Hazel eyes flicked to Santana, who just shrugged.

"Don't call her hobbit" Quinn mumbled.

"She's been out of her room more" Brittany stated and Quinn instantly turned to her, picking up her head off her hand, she stared at the blonde. "She even steps out of her room to get her own food now"

"She leaves her room?" Quinn questioned, dropping her right arm onto the desk again. Her eyes moved back to the Latina as she nodded.

"You wouldn't believe how many times we tried to get her out of room, but she never budged from bed. Quinn nodded slowly at Santana's words, she licked her lips before sliding her arms off the front desk. Brittany checked her watch, a slow smile spreading on her face as she looked up at Quinn.

"It looks like their food is just being handed out now, if you hurry you might catch her outside for once" Brittany smiled wide at Quinn as Quinn's hazel eyes widened, and without even a "talk to you later" Quinn, jogged down the hall way. Down the hall, through the open door she could see patients gather around picking up trays of food and walking away. Walking down the hall, she smiled when approaching Rachel's door. Open. Finally.

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**Kay I know this chapter is like uber short but it's also almost midnight and I'm supposed to wake up early tomorrow so you all better feel special that I stayed up this long to just post this for you all. Do you love me yet? If you don't. You should. Rachel's door is open. score for Quinn, no?**

**Em - Even if this is short, I hope I did well with this chapter too? I actually like it so I hope you do as well, And you just became so awesome just for stating that because you want to hit Finn so early in the story that you know it's going to be great. That is the best thing I've ever heard so far!**

** - Super Fabray is on her way to sneaking into Rachel's room without her even knowing, I think that counts this as a happy chapter right? There was no hurt feelings...well except for a bit of Quinn's doubting but I don't count that...and neither should you! As for Quinn kicking Finn's ass?..We'll see ;)**

**rainbowbright108 - We're getting close to Rachel opening up to Quinn, finally, so yay! And I'm the writer and I can't wait to write Finn getting busted as much as you can't wait to read about it, and now that I know that you love Brittana, I'll be adding more scenes of them, and make sure they have some sweet moments and stuff just for you! And Santana ended up there by...let's just say that, as tough as she seems, she really isn't. Her story is going to unfold along with Rachel's in the story too, so look forward to that!**

**Parawhoreforlife - I updated. I know what's good for me :) aha! P.S Thanks for forgiving me!**

**louseverine - There's three chapters now, how are you feeling about it now? I don't know about my writing being beautiful, I mean I still thing I still suck at some parts and they irritate me, very much, but I agree broken Rachel is very fascinating. I think I like her very much, but I like it even more when a broken Rachel gets fixed, don't you?**

**snowdrop1026 - It's not weird, because I wrote this whole chapter while listening to that song because you suggested it! So feel special, cause i always need music while I write so you got me to post this along with all these people and their wonderful reviews like yours :) And would it be proper is Quinn didn't stay true to Rachel? That's not like the Quinn is see in my head at all, Rachel just takes Quinn's heart so much that Quinn wouldn't dare turning her back on her heart. And I can promise you Finn will get caught, Although he hasn't shown up for two chapters, I'm still aware of his unwanted existence. and You're welcome, and your reason behind your url is even cuter than the url itself, considering I also love snow, i approve so much! And you're amazing for calling me Bieb. That is all 1026...that makes you sound like an agent :D **

**CR00 - And now the girls will be in the same room finally! And I see Rachel's character like this too, this is why she was perfect for when I first thought of this story. And I won't make this a too dark fanfic but it's defiantly not going to be a super one, so I hope you love me as an author then :D And I shall castrate him!**

**LupitaTequila13 - Third chapter, hope you love the story more now :)**

**Faberritanalover21 - I have no idea how you found this story but I'm glad that you did if you love it :) **

**Guest - Well so far, this is how far it goes, to Quinn finally entering Rachel's room, hope I got you excited for the next chapter now where they actually talk face to face!**

**HannahWilliam33 - I UPDATED! And no worries, I usually wait a week before wanting to post again cause I want to make sure people who follow my stories get the chance to read it [AND REVIEW] before I post again and start answering people and stuff :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel, with tray in hand, she stared at the mush of food on her plate, that she knew was the only thing vegan free, In a place like this, keeping up the habit was difficult but that didn't mean Rachel was just going to give up and start eating everything they provided on the menu. No, she simply picked up a plate of vegan mashed potatoes, she had gotten Brittany to convince the lunch staff to now give out.

Although Rachel was one of the only patients to have this eating habit, they agreed, The girl has to eat something right? Sure it's small but Rachel was used to it. Turning into room she looked up and felt her heart freeze in her chest, her feet stopping in place, making her white sneakers produce a small squeak against the waxed floor.

Her knuckled tightened around the edge of her tray as she stared with an open mouth at Quinn, sat upon the edge of her bed, hands folded in her lap as she slowly smiled at Rachel.

"Hi" Quinn said softly, and Rachel took note of the sound, finally hearing her voice not muffled by her room door between them. Rachel licked her dry lips and shut her mouth, her teeth clenching, as she lined up her feet together, Quinn sat watching Rachel fit into the stance, already seeing the wall Rachel was building up in her mind. She quickly stood and held of her hands.

"I, Um, I know it's like rude to like just walk into someone's room without them knowing, and I probably gave you a heart attack and I'm sorry but I uh, I just...I want to have a conversation, face to face...for once" Quinn's arms lowered, when Rachel bit her lip, her eyes sizing Quinn up before she dropped her gaze to the floor and walked to the end of her bed, placing her food onto it.

Her gaze stayed down while Quinn watched her, the blonde lightly clapped her hands together, and walked to the door. As soon as Quinn passed Rachel, the brunette's head whipped back, to watch her. Her bottom lip slowly slipped from under her teeth as she turned her body, watching Quinn's each step toward the door.

Rachel rolled her hands into fists, tightening them so that her finger nails pressed into the palm of her hand, but only to loosen her fists when Quinn simply shut the door. For the second time, Rachel's jaw lowered.

Quinn turned around and leaned back on the door, she crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, her eyes scanned down Rachel's body dressed in the typical white clothes, the patients usually wore before moving back up to meet her eyes.

"Just wanted to show you I'm not leaving anytime soon" Quinn stated, pushing off the door and walking toward the bed, her eyes flicking between the floor and Rachel's eyes, cautiously watching her. Walking past Rachel she sat on the bed, the brunette turned her body to face the blonde, as she patted the stop next her. Rachel swallowed before taking two steps and sitting at the end of her bed, while Quinn sat near the top of it. The blonde sighed at the space between them, but she figured it was better than having a door between them.

Her eyes scanned over the brunette's tense position. She sat up straight, her fingers intertwined on her lap while her thumbs wrestled together, she faced the floor, and her right shoe sat on top of her left.

"I um..." Quinn licked her dry lips, she tapped her index finger against her knee, her heart beating nervously in her chest. _Maybe this was a mistake. She clearly wasn't ready to face me, she hasn't even spoken yet._ "I'm sorry if I made you...uncomfortable...I...I just wanted to...I just thought that..." Quinn continued to trail off, what exactly was she supposed to say to Rachel? If anything, the blonde was convinced she just made Rachel not want to get out of her room more, so that she wouldn't leave the door open and this wouldn't happen again.

Rachel's hair fell from behind her ear, effectively blocking her face, and as the brunette listened to Quinn stutter, trying to come up with a proper sentence, the corner of her mouth quirked up, into a shy small small. Quinn stammering was adorable to Rachel. Although she most likely never admit that.

"I...I need to stop talking." Quinn shook her head, turning her body to face forward, and tilted her feet onto her toes, raising her knees just the slightest so she could place her elbows on them and drop her head into her hands. repeating the word "Idiot" in her mind repeatedly, she sighed. "You're not going to talk today are you?" Quinn asked, closing her eyes slowly.

But as Rachel rose her head, moving her hair back behind her ear, she opened her mouth slightly to speak only to whip her head around, hearing her door behind unlocked and opened, she swallowed harshly and tensed, she slid down the bed, successfully bumping into Quinn, who then rose her head from her hands, her eyes looked into Rachel's as the Brunette faced her for a second, silently apologizing for bumping into her, in her mind, with her bottom lip tucked in her mouth.

The blonde sat up straight, noticing the terror in the tiny girl's eyes, Quinn's eyebrow scrunched together, her mouth opened slightly and her eyes flicked to the door when it was pushed open.

"Okay Rachel, you know what time it is" Quinn tilted her head, as she watched the janitor of the rehab step inside, his eyes down, as he started undoing his belt, and shut the door with his foot. Quinn felt Rachel begin to shake against her, and her eyes moved back to the brunette. She faced behind Quinn, her eyes tightly shut, a little whimper escaping her as Quinn faintly saw one tear drop from her eye. Her heart cracked, she looked toward the janitor just in time to lock eyes with him as he froze, finally realizing a new person was in the room. "Um..Hi"

"What time is it...exactly?" Quinn asked, her eyes narrowing on the male, his Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed. He rose his right arm, his belt sliding off his pants and landing on the floor with a soft tick, and Quinn felt Rachel flinch.

"It's um...It's t-two-two...thirty.." Finn mumbled, gripping the waistband of his pants. Quinn nodded, her eyes looked toward shaking Rachel, before looking back at the tall brunette man. She placed her hand softly on Rachel's knee, patting it softly before she stood up, she intertwined her hands together behind her back as she walked to the man, and stood a few feet away from him.

"Well" Quinn squinted at his name tag. "Finn. I think you need to leave right now, because it's clearly not time for anything but work right now, correct?" Quinn tilted on the tip of her toes to the balls of her heal as she stared at the man.

"Uh...Y-yeah. Sorry I, will, I'm gonna...go" Finn pointed behind him with his thumb, and turned around, opening the door, before turning back and grabbing his belt, and leaving.

Quinn let out a breath as soon as the door shut, only to have her heart squeeze as she hear the loud whimper from the broken angel on the bed behind her. Quinn turned immediately and ran to the side of the bed, Rachel at some point, had tipped forward, so her face is in her pillow, her sobs being muffled by the object while her whole body shook, trying to catch her own breath as she cried. Quinn placed her hand on Rachel's knee, patting it softly again as she licked her lips.

"Please...Rachel, tell me he doesn't..." Quinn trailed off, she watched Rachel grip the bed sheets, her body shook harder. "Rachel...Rachel" Quinn ran her hand over the brunette's back, before squeezing her arm. "Come here" Quinn said softly, as Rachel listened, lifting her body from the bed, she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck, as the blonde wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist, and sat at the edge of the bed, Rachel tucked her head above her arms, her tears burning Quinn's skin on her neck and her breath rapid against her.

She rubbed her arms up and down the brunette's back, her heart aching, not completely knowing how to approach this tender subject with Rachel, but one this was for sure, she was defiantly going to have a talk with Brittany.

* * *

**So. Hi. It's been a while. But good news, I finally graduated high school...a couple of weeks ago, which was awesome, so now I'm back. yay :D**

**RachelBarbraBerry - Thank you, this one is longer so I hope this one is great too :)**

**Rainbowbright108 - Quinn has seen Rachel, this chapter is longer, and I have updated, how happy are you now? :D**

**Alese222 - Tell me about it, most stories do discuss a lot of rape and self-harm but I don't see much about suicides and such so here's one at least, even though I can't read my own story, I know how it goes, yay me. Opening up is going to take a while, but she's going to open up piece by piece, I hope that won't get annoying and well Quinn basically caught him in the act of trying to do the act does that count? hehe**

**Guest - well, Quinn is awesome, and what built the bit of trust is Quinn showing that even with the door shut for three weeks, she wasn't going to force Rachel into showing herself or opening up yet if she didn't want to, she could take it as slow as Rachel wants, even in this chapter Rachel just hugs Quinn wants she says "Come here" that shows the trust that Quinn has earned, as if Rachel knows Quinn can protect her. and I love to hear that you like this story and this chapter is longer :) sorry for it not being soon.**

**Parawhoreforlife - Thank you! I hope I kept up the good in Chapters with this one as well :D**

**LaurenKnight13 - I SO Glad you did too, but the emotional stuff barley has begun, you just wait, it'll get worse, but yes I agree, Rachel has finally gotten her angel, her Quinn :)**

**Snowdrop1026 - Agent 1026, you have reviewed, and I'm glad you can see where Rachel takes Quinn heart way before Quinn even realizes it, and when is Quinn never want Rachel needs? Quinn is just overly perfect for Rachel, especially in situations like in this chapter. Quinn being Rachel's life raft as you suggested is utterly cute to me, i never thought of it that way, I guess I don't have a very cute mind...I suck, bleh**

**HighOnFaberry - This chapter is defiantly longer than the mentions...I hope...if not tell me if you want them even longer cause although i'm not very good with making long chapters I could most defiantly work at it for you, if you'd like, but thank you for thinking it's good either way :)**

**This chick 562 - Glad to hear it :)**

**Guest - Thank you :D, I'll keep them, more deep emotions coming too! from Rachel and Santana!**


	5. Chapter 5

Comforting a broken Rachel Berry was something Quinn expected. Holding a crying Rachel Berry for hours until she exhausted herself to the point where she just hiccuped and slammed her head onto Quinn's chest. The broken brunette sat on Quinn's lap, clutching at the sides of the blonde's shirt, her shoulders and chest soaking in Rachel's tears. Quinn felt utterly helpless. She had just sat there, the girl crying on her, rubbing her back, quietly begging for Rachel to stop crying, promising everything was going to be okay, but she was sure Rachel didn't believe her, she wasn't even sure to believe it herself.

The blonde let out a shaky breath, as she felt Rachel's breath begin to even out, the tears had stop flowing, but she continued to let out little whimpers, which tugged at Quinn's heart in a way that just tore her apart.

"Rachel, we're going to lay down now, okay?" Quinn waited until she felt the tiny brunette in her arms nod softly before leaning back, while she slid her legs on top of the bed, Rachel had moved to lay straight on the bed, and Quinn slid right beside her. Rachel gripped the collar of Quinn's shirt, and leaned her head back onto the taller girl's chest. The blonde had wrapped her arms around Rachel protectively just before there was a soft knocking on the door.

Rachel tensed, And Quinn pulled her tighter to her, she lifted her head, watching the door open, and relaxed as soon as she locked eyes with Brittany. She loosened her grip on Rachel, but the brunette didn't.

"Quinn..." Brittany's eyes flicked between the two cuddled on the bed. taking a step inside, Santana pushed the door more open, so that she was able to stand beside Brittany, she looked between the two girl's on the bed and smiled softly.

"D'aw, now isn't that just adorable" Her smile faltered, as Quinn glared at her. "Serious moment, got it" Santana nodded, stepping behind Brittany so she could get out of Quinn's view, the glare made her uncomfortable on so many levels.

"Quinn it's uh, visiting time is over" Brittany announced, tapping her watch, as Quinn sighed, she rubbed Rachel's back twice before lifting up, only to be tugged back down by the brunette. Brittany turned to look at Santana, who quirked up an eyebrow at the action, that she watched over Brittany's shoulder, her eyes flicked to Brittany's.

"Rach..." Quinn's voice was low, while she tapped Rachel's hands, that stayed gripping the collar of her shirt. "I gotta-"

"No." Rachel growled out in a raspy, broken voice. Quinn's jaw slacked open, as Brittany whipped back around to the two figures, Santana stepped out from behind Brittany, her hands intertwined behind her back and her eyebrows scrunched together. A slow smirk started to grow on Santana's face.

"Rachel it's the rules" Brittany stated, taking another step further into the room.

"No." Rachel shook her head against Quinn, as the blonde just leaned her forehead onto the top of the brunette's head, caressing the side of her body softly.

"I'll be back" Quinn whispered to her, noting Rachel's grip loosen slightly.

"How...How can I be sure it's you?" Her grip released, and Rachel pushed away from Quinn, turning over and facing her back to the blonde, she wrapped her arms around her self, and curled into the fetal position. "You...I...You...Can't..." Rachel trailed off, feeling fresh tears sting her eyes as she let out a shakey breath. "You won't be back" Rachel whispered, and Quinn barley caught it, but she had. Quinn slid her legs off the bed, but kept her hands on the bed, as she faced Rachel's back.

"I'll promise you a thousand times that I'll be back" Quinn bit her lip with a frown as Rachel slowly shook her head.

"Promises were meant to be broken" was all Quinn heard, she felt a hand grip her shoulder and she stood up, her eyes looking between Brittany's before facing Rachel.

"Mine are made to last" With no reply from the brunette, Brittany walked with Quinn out the door, waiting for Sanatana as she shut Rachel's door softly. Quinn shook her head, trying to get the sound of Rachel's weak voice out of her head, and her blood began to boil, remembering what had made Rachel that way in the first place. She shrugged off Brittany's hand and turned to glare between the taller blonde and brunette latina.

"Quinn, we have-" Brittany began, taking the small book, Quinn had now noticed Santana was holding, Quinn had still cut her off.

"Who the fuck is..._Finn_?" Quinn whispered his name, considering she still stood near Rachel's room door, she didn't want to risk the brunette hearing, and crying fresh tears, without being able to hold her until she falls asleep. Brittany and Santana turned to each other, both expressing a confused look before turning back to Quinn.

"The janitor?" Brittany answered, her head tilting, wondering why Quinn looked so angry, Finn, to her, seemed like a nice guy, he worked hard at his job, kept the place spotless...mostly, and once in a while brings her a flower or two he picked from his garden that he likes to work on.

"Yes the fucking janitor, what's his deal?" Quinn's words dripped with anger, she still tried to keep her voice low, but it was hard to do when all she wanted was to just beat the guy into a pulp.

"He just...works, here?"

"He also like to charm blonde's, what did he do?" Santana spoke up, crossing her arms over her chest. While Brittany had a positive opinion on Finn, Santana hadn't liked him either. The flowers, and attempts to flirt with Brittany always boils her blood, Brittany states he does a good job at cleaning, while Santana can argue that half of the bathrooms here aren't cleaned at all, and when they are, it's a lousy job.

"I'm sure he means no harm to you Quinn, he does have a thing for blonde's" Brittany patted Santana's shoulder as she gave Quinn a sweet smile, only to have it falter as Quinn gritted her teeth.

"No. No he does not have a thing for Blonde's. Please fucking explain to me, why I caught him walking into Rachel's room, as he undid his pants" Quinn's eyes narrowed, watching Santana's eyes widen and Brittany's face scrunch up into full confusion.

"I..I don't-" Brittany thought of ways to defend the guy but couldn't think of a single explanation.

"That fucking bastard" Santana scoffed, her arms crossed harder as she shook her head. "I thought he stayed in Berry's room way longer than any place else he was supposed to clean"

"And you did nothing?" Quinn took a step forward, her eyes locking with Santana's.

"I-"

"You not once, pulled him aside and questioned why he spent so much time in Rachel's room?"

"uh"

"Not once, made him look at the rooms he failed to clean because he took his time in Rachel's room doing unexplainable things to her while he was on the clock?" Her eyes glanced at Brittany, watching the taller blonde, gaze down at the floor, probably thinking back to all the times she's seen his janitor cart outside her room door and added up the minutes it stayed there compared to the other rooms.

"I didn't-"

"Of course you didn't, Nobody fucking thought to talk to Rachel. Nobody went up to her to see if she was alright every fucking day, no. God forbid I didn't catch him today, who knows what he's been doing to here. Because _Nobody. Fucking. Talks._" Quinn's teeth clenched as she spoke the last three words, her hands rolled into fists and she squeezed, trying to contain her anger. She knew it wasn't, Santana and Brittany's fault exactly, who would question a janitor's motives when you expect them to just be cleaning?

"This can't be..." Brittany started, she tapped her chin with her index finger, shaking her head. "I just...I can't believe he would...he would try to...I just don't understand"

"She's an easy target" Santana looked down, scuffing her shoe against the floor. "Broken, marked as a lost cause, no one would expect a thing from her...she's always been quiet" Santana ran her hands through her hair and sighed. Her eyes met up with Quinn's before turning away. "I'm sorry...I didn't...I didn't do anything, as much as I pick on her, I do actually care.." Santana scratched the back of her neck as Brittany patted her on the back.

"Listen Quinn.." Brittany looked at Santana before facing the shorter blonde. "This won't go away in one day" Quinn nodded. "For this situation to be dealt with, we need proof, and proof and more proof to back us up if he is doing what we think he is doing" Brittany dropped her hand to the side, and swallowed hard. Her head filled with the helpless image of Rachel being sexually abused, and it just tore her heart open. She cleared her throat, attempting to control the tears that are ready to fill her eyes and spill down her cheeks.

She took the book Santana was holding and held it out to Quinn. "This was Rachel's" Quinn blinked, her anger disappearing in a instant as she took the book and eyed it. it was a typical notebook, with a black cover, she opened it up to find three words in huge bold print.

**RACHEL'S BUCKET LIST**

Quinn looked up at Brittany, her eyebrow arching perfectly.

"Her bucket list?"

"Yes, she had done that, the first week she had been signed up here. She said she wanted to do it with the helper who cared about her..." Brittany trailed off and Santana bit her lip.

"But Rachel has been marked as being here for two years already how come she still has this..." Quinn looked down, scanning through the pages, each at the activity written at the top followed by an empty check box at the top right corner and covered in pictures relating to the event. "Why are none of these checked...as she done nothing?" Quinn looked up in time to see Brittany sigh sadly; Her eyes turned to Santana who nodded as well.

"Her helpers usually lasted about three to five days" Santana shrugged. "None of them really stuck long enough for Berry to give them the book...when the last helper disappeared on her, she broke down, and just threw the book at Brittany. She said she'd never get to do it with anyone, so she suggested just burning the book"

"Which of course I didn't" Brittany smiled, proud of herself, as Quinn nodded, she shut the book and held it under her arm.

"Well, this would be a good distraction tonight, so I won't have to think of that idiot" Quinn licked her lips before looking between the blonde and brunette. "I'll see you both tomorrow...Santana be a dear and bring her a damn breakfast" Quinn said through clenched teeth, before turning on her heel and simply leaving.

"She's mad" Brittany mumbled as Santana, just moved to hug her around the waist.

"But she's going to be around for Rachel...and that's what we all need"

* * *

**Wow an update when I just updated 2 days ago? Damn I'm good, no, I'm just excited, it's 12:21 am I'm supposed to be sleeping but hell naw, cause of Niall freaking Horan and the fact that I'm going to be seeing him live, a few feet away from me later on today I was just to hyper to the point where I finished writing this and now I am posting this...Niall, I better not regret this in the morning when I have to wake up at 6 am!**

**QRtine - first of all, thank you :) and there will be no beating up yet...actually I never really thought of there being any beatings going on in this story, but you never know with my twisted brain :D You might just seem in in the hospital with broken bones instead of just bloody and bruised.**

**Fridaglee17 - Quinn is going to sign Rachel up for an "All Day Pass" at the rehab which allows helpers take out their chosen patients when needed or wanted.**

**Alese222 - THREE CHEERS FOR QUINN SNEAKING INTO RACHEL'S ROOM STOPPING FINN FROM RAPING HER WOO QUINN, SNEAK INTO THAT ROOM GIRL! aha sorry after I read your review I just couldn't help but do that, and Rachel will open up, it's just gonna be piece by piece very slowly that her full story will come out.**

**HannahWilliam33 - was 2 days soon enough? and Is that what they do in jail nowadays? I am so out of touch with keeping up what they do there, I don't know if i should feel sorry for Finn then if he's put into jail :/**

**Snowdrop1026 - I'M SORRY BUT NOW IT WAS ONLY TWO DAYS 1026 I HOPE I AM FORGIVEN...well techinally you can thank Niall for this quick update, thinking of him kept me up this late to post this, that handsome lad 3 and thank you :D, your name for Finn is my all time favourite, i might just use that in my story if you don't mind.**

**Romangst - still not sure about asses being kicked and I never really thought of putting him in jail but that's why its good to review, it's giving me more ideas! ANOTHER THREE CHEERS FOR QUINN!**

**Rainbowbright108 - before I reply to your review i would love to say thank you :D I am actually over the moon happy about finishing high school, this is exactly what I needed, less stress, less bad thoughts. I've been trying to make this as realistic as possible and I didn't think I was going a good job until I read this and you just made me so happy :D**

**Nikq - THREE CHEERS FOR QUINN, damn girl she be getting like 9 cheers already, the process is officially about to begin in the next chapter so I hope you are excited :D**

**LaurenKnight13 - THREE CHEERS FOR QUINN. Damn Quinn 12 cheers for you girl, and I love how so many people are excited for Rachel to open up :D it makes me excited! And Thank you! :D**

** - Their defiantly going to do something, Rachel's going to be so thankful :D**

**Beaner008 - "this is an incredibly well done story" omfg thank you so much, my confidence in this story is boosting so high thanks to reviews like this. I always feel like i'm doing something wrong in this story but you guys always make me feel like it's perfect, next chapter starts off with Santana and Rachel, so I hope you get excited for that :D I'll be thinking of you as I write it :D...and I'm not creepy. I promise. and again Thank you so much :)**

**JustLikeBrookeDavis - Thank you :D**

**12:21 - 12:41. It actually took me 20 minutes to answer all of you guys...I really need to sleep.**


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